i am riding in a tricycle when i read nicca's txt message. my tears just fall. hindi ko napigilan yung mga luha ko na pumatak, para akong baliw.. its so painful, pero siguro mas mabuting tanggapin nalang natin. hindi ko nakaya...siguro kahit we're worlds apart nararamdaman nating there's something in her that really special.. kaya ganon din siya ka-special. kaya siguro, ganon nalang din ako umiyak kanina sa kwarto.i just cant help it. paano ko makakalimutan yung sweetness niya? hindi ko na uli makikita ang "tee hee" sa mga post niya.. mamimiss ko talaga siya.. sobra. i cant help but think... will she be there waiting for me in heaven when i died?maybe sa heaven nalang din kami magkikita... someday.im thankful that she came to our lives and became a very special friend... i will never ever forget her and i will love her always.siguro kelangan nalang talaga nating tanggapin ang katotohanan.we have to let her go.. para naman makita na niya ang liwanag and to be with God, finally.
words are not enough to tell you guys what am i feeling right now.malungkot ako na masaya dahil sa wakas, natapos na din ang paghihirap niya...
FOR US WHO WILL MISS ATE JOIE SO MUCH...HERE'S A POEM NA SANA MA-REFLECT NIYO...PARA NAMAN MAS MADALING TANGGAPIN ANG LAHAT...
Dirty Angel Standing here in silence,Just looking at her stone,It’s been exactly fourteen months, I was left alone.My world revolved around her,And our whole life had been planned,But she was taken from me,And I do not understand.The reason life can go astray,And treat you so unfair,You think the people that you love,Will constantly be there.As I stood before the grave,My eyes began to blur,Then I heard a soft voice say,"I know you really miss her."I turned and saw a soiled gardener,With his muddy rake and hoe.He said, "it never seems to be,The right time when they go."I dried my eyes not wanting him,To think that I was weak.He smiled, then looked me in the eyes,Then he began to speak.I wanted not to hear him,But he spoke so eloquent,And as he spoke I understood,Exactly what he meant.He spoke of life as if it were,A journey not a fight,But sometimes seems as if we’re living,In the darkest night.He spoke of things so wonderful,I’d never heard before."Death is not the journey’s end,"He said, "it’s just a door."In his words he made me realize,Love does not end.For a moment love is parted,And with that we must contend.But the journey, as with love,Must go on again.Once begun, the journey and the love,Will never end.I turned again and understood,As I gazed at the stone.My journey must continue,Even if I am alone.I now have found some peace of mind,Within the words he said.Each journey is a separate one,She just went on ahead.A peace had now come over me,Again my eyes had teared.I turned to thank this kindly soul,But he had disappeared.He surely has a lot of work,And stayed too long with me,And seeing it was getting late,Departed suddenly.I left and made my way,Up to the cemetery gate.The caretaker was locking up,But told me he would wait.I thanked him and I hoped that I,Had not wasted his time.I also told him that his helper,Was polite and kind.He raised his head and looked at me,With the strangest peer,"There is no one else working,I’m the only one who’s here."
"to ate joie:may you rest in peace and i will love you always.see you in heaven.
hoi ate joie, tropa, musta na?maiintindihan mo na din to, hightech naman computer jan sa heaven eh.alam mo ba? nababaliw ako sayo. ahah.lalo na nung pinilit kitang ipos yung pic mo na naka-wig.alam mo na, yung mga baliw na pics natin.haahha. anak ng tinapa, hindi mo lang alam kung gaano ako kasaya dahil nandiyan ka nung mga panahong..mga panahong.. panahong di ko nadin matandaan. umiiyak ako ngayon.. silent tears. haha. akalain mo yun?alam ko namang mahal kita. pero ganon talaga,yaan mo na.. sanay naman akong maiwan eh.anak ng.basta, kung di man tayo nagkita dito sa lupa, sa langit magkikita din tayo balang araw.leukemia.. haha.. yaan mo di ka nagiisa. yun nga lang, di pa malala yun sakin eh. pinaglalabanan ko pa.^_^salamat sa lahat, tropa. kaya siguro sobrang lamig kanina sa room namin, siguro nandon ka.sana nagpakita ka man lang diba? hehe.salamat sa lahat. matulog ka nalang muna ng mahimbing ngayon. rest in peace,see you in heaven. mahal na mahal kita.anak ng tokwa ilang beses mo na akong pinaiyak. di na kita bati! haha.sige...kitakits nalang balang araw. sige baby muna, ang dami ko panmg isosolve sa accounting eh.
AM I OK? have you ever asked yourself this three words? seems so simple right? but that's may be the hardest question for some people who really doesnt know if they're OK or not. looking happy is not being happy. i look happy, but i know there is a piece of me who's not really.. happy at all. i've been through a lot of pain.. hindi lang halata. i always feel something's missing... i feel so alone at times. sometimes, i just want to burst out and cry but i just cant.. i have to be strong. i have to be someone.... someone that is not me. i wish i will be OK, i know i will.
in HIS time.
I KNOW WHAT YOU FEEL ABOUT IT, WITCHIES! im really sad right now. Ate Joie's really sick and its sad that we cant do anything to help her. no matter how i want to help, i just cant! she's so far away from us... i want to hold her, to embrace her and to tell her that everything's gonna be alright but... that's really impossible. T_T its so painful because we know that everyday, she grows ill and she's slowly deteriorating and we cant do anything!
sigh
sigh
sigh...
i just hope that she wont suffer that much.
and if anything happens.....
i know...
we'll see each other in heaven...
IN HIS TIME.
that's all for now. i just cant type more words.... i feel so numb.
im Badtrip. it's not a good day for me... i feel left out, i dont know why... this is really unwell.. you know what? ayoko talaga sa mga tao na mahilig magmalinis, nangiiwan, at mga taong nagsasabi ng kung ano ano without even thinking na nakakasakit sila. their so insensitive. acting as if they dont have a brain to think about what other might feel about their actions. there's this friend of mine who talks a lot without even thinking. well, ok she thinks but she's so insensitive. she's nice, but she really has this attitude that i never liked. i think its healthy to post it here, i dont want to hold grudges or anything like that.
newsflash: people of the world, be sensitive!
I FEEL leftout. haha. this is crazy. it's ridiculous, but i really feel left out this day., why? because my friends [the best, the ever dearest college 'kada] the two people whom i loved most in my university was with their boyfriends this day. i know its craxy and i should be happy for them. i mean i am happy for them, but i am left behind... lol.
MISSION: find my own serious relationship in college. hahaha. lol. hahaha. now i am smiling. i told you, i am half crazy. ahaha.
"You look happy, but somehow, your eyes tell me you're not" i want to cry the moment a friend of mine told me this words. we're riding a jeepney this afternoon on our way home and we're joking around, we're exchanging thoughts about what happned this day... so on... but in the middle of the "happy" conversation, she just blurted out this words " alam mo mukha kang masaya, pero nakikita ko sa mata mo na malungkot ka..." ano daw? haha. i want to hug her that time, but i just utter this words... " ganon? puyat lang ako kaya basag ung mata ko haha"
siguro nga marami akong problema, sa dami di ko na alam kung ano ano. kaya kinakalimutan ko nalang.
look at my picture here, tell me what do you see? do you also see those eyes?
"Without a purpose, life is a motion without meaning, activity without direction and events wihout reason"
i really believe in this phrase from page 30 of The Pursose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I must admit that i dont know yet my purpose in this life, and now, i am searching for that light that will guide me through life. Many people live their lives half asleep, they're just followers of the trend, of what's in now, what the popular culture says about what's good and bad for you, what the society accepts and what other people thinks about you. i am one of them until i saw an inspiration and realize that life cant be a life unless you make it YOUR LIFE. i know it's hard to do, but yes... we can avoid it. dont just simply walk on "everybody's road" walk on your own path. and to be able to live your life the way you and God wants, you must first wake up from the popular dream that this culture put on your mind. and we must have a certain purpose to continue living, because without a purpose, life is a motion without meaning, activity without direction and events wihout reason. but the big question is, how can we find our purpose? and how can we break free in a trend that everybody follows? how can we wake up from this dream and find our greatest realization?
think about this friends, because just like you... my purpose is still uncertain. i am just a traveler who's still searching for her real destination. lets all help each other. and find God's light that will help us find that purpose.
*yawn* i cant go back to sleep even if i want to go back to sleep.. wahaha. it's so early pa, pero sige! gising na! my dad kiss me goodbye this morning kasi flight niya na to bacolod [nanaman] for our rice business, ayun.. di na tuloy ako nakatulog ulet. this is the first day of our second sememster also, mamaya, magaasikaso nadin ako kasi 10:00 am yung class ko. waaa. simula na ng pahirap. fundamentals of accounting 1 and calculus. hmmm... makakakaya ko kaya? sana. ahah. tulungan niyo ko ha? haha. thanks. sa tingin niyo kaya ko? comments naman! ahahah.
"THIS IS IT! THIS IS REALLY IS IT". ano daw? haha
ayan, final na [siguro haha] si blog skin, siyempre, si ate NEYM ang may gawa niyan. di ko kayang gawin yan eh. hahaha *_* hehehe. thanks sa pagtiyatiyaga sa blog ko ate. naks! natapos nadin. hahaha ^_^ ayan, alam mo na passwords ko sa mga web accounts... hacker? hahaha. joke. weee. i trust and love you naman eh. kea OK lang. weeee. ^_^
ok, magpopost muna ako sa forum. mamaya na ako magaasikaso. hehe.
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE! MAY GOD BLESS US ALL! JESUS, WE TRUST AND LOVE YOU. AMEN.
wow. see? may improvement and blog ko. dahil yan kay ATE NEYM HEHE.. ang cute right? sino ba naman ang hindi gaganahan mag-post dito kung may "personality" ang page mo? naks. ^____^ i want to take this oppurtunity to thank ate neym, kasi honestly wala talaga akong kaalam alam sa paggawa ng designs sa web page haha. friendster ko din pinagawa ko kay rash. ahahaha ^_^ thanks guys for helping me. si kim din, thanks. siya unang tumulong sakin ^_^ ang saya.
thank you po and sana wag kayo magsasawa. hahaha ^_^ mwah.
pasukan nanaman. i know college students who's not under tri-sem are getting ready for the second semester... grabeh, ang bilis ng panahon pero mahaba nadin yung pinahinga namin. imagine? from October 14 to November 07 naka-teng'ga kami sa kanya kanyang bahay. lol. sa wed [november 08] first day of second sem. nahati daw yung block namin at may napahalong galing sa block 118. now, lahat kami BSA [accountancy] major na.
how long, how long... will is slide? [separate my side... i dont, i dont believe it's bad.. slit my throath is all i ever...]
oops, sorry im listening to otherside by red hot chili peppers [i love this band]
lol.
i mean, how long, how long will i survive? makakaya ko kaya? hay, buhay, ang, hirap. lol.
sa mga magbabalik pasukan bukas, goodluck sa inyong lahat. sana maging maayos and pagpasok niyo. aba, purong tagalog. haha.
thanks sa lahat lahat ng nangyari last sem... here are my FAVORITES... na nagyari last semester..
1. nagcelebrate kami ng birthday ko [august 21] with my college kada. at my bonus pa! isang bimpo na nagsign kami lahat. [haha. purple pa ang kulay ng text, stabilo ko kasi ung ginamit. hehe] 2. i won first prize in poetry writing contest noong Buwan ng Wika. kabog to. hehe ^_^ 3. naka-eb ko ang witch staffs [ate chamie, ate koko, ate mel, and... hehe]. and nakausap ko sa phone si ed-in-chief ms. mimi tiu. she really rocks! 4. nagpalitan kami ng thoughts ni ms. mimi last october.. binati ko siya nung birthday niya and she gave some advice to me. that's really a biggy for me since i really look up to her as a role model. ang saya. ^_______^ 5. na-featured ako and ate denise sa witch magazine issue no. 53. kay ate denise ko din unang nabalitaan. hehehe.
it's been a long time since i last posted here on my blog. hey all you bloggers out there, what's up? how are you doin'? anyway, i've been busy with some other stuffs that i didnt get the chance to go here for a while.. but, yeah. IM BACK NOW and will be active in creating some new post. all of you, masters of bog-design... pls help me. ^_^ im begging ^_^
few days from now second semester will start. and.. oh.. it's been so fast. new adventure. i am very exited to meet the newbies on our block.
im hoping that i will survive this sem. i already have a major [fundamenals of accounting 1] calculus is also added on my subjects. [shaking aha] i makes me nervous.
.... here's a picture of me, saying peace y'all mankind. mwah. >>>
well... it's glad to be back and let's be acive on sharing our stuffs.
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